Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes have been together for over a year, and they want the world to know that they’ve experienced enormous personal growth because of it. This weekend, Cabello wrote on Instagram about how their relationship challenged her to look at her weaknesses and work on them, while Mendes spoke to BritishGQ about how Cabello helped him make peace with his body image.

Cabello wrote honestly about how being with Mendes made her have to “confront” her own insecurities, a process that could be “messy and uncomfortable and ugly lol.” As she put it at the beginning of her post, “It’s not just the happy blissful moments you see in pictures and videos.”

Here’s her caption in full:

I’ve learned a lot about love with this guy. It’s not just the happy blissful moments you see in pictures and videos- When you’re in a relationship with someone, it feels like they are this mirror reflecting yourself back to you- I constantly have to confront my fears, my anxieties, my insecurities, my patterns of thinking, my beliefs about life and about myself. It’s not as simple as it looks in pictures sometimes. sometimes, it’s messy and uncomfortable and ugly lol. But there’s nothing like the pull, the FORCE that is love, to be the light in the darkness- to be the gravitational pull that gives you the relentless strength to be braver, wiser, and better than you were yesterday. It’s so instinctive for us to love, even if our minds try to protect us from it sometimes, but our nature as humans is to love. And to be in love means to choose that person over and over again, to go through the messy stuff with. And that’s way more beautiful and raw and real than perfection. I’m all for being vulnerable on social media because I think only the neatness and perfection of life is shown on here; and that can make us all feel extra lonely and weird! So raise your glass to the messiness and weirdness of being human and the miracle. And the easiness. And the instinct. And the relentless force that is love.

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Mendes, meanwhile, spoke to British GQ a bit about how he used to struggle with the pressure to stay super buff. “Some days I would have three hours of sleep, [because] I’d get up two hours early just to be able to work out,” he said, adding it was because he had this nagging thought that “if you don’t work out, you’re going to lose fans.”

He started meditating and journaling, but he also watched the way his girlfriend’s body was scrutinized publicly—which was far more intensely than his—and how Cabello responded. “So strong, so clear and confident with her [body] and so articulate and empathetic about other people’s,” he said. “And it really changed my view of mine. It really changed my life. [I realized that] taking that extra few hours of sleep, instead of waking up to pump iron, is a better choice sometimes.”

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